THE GREEK BO' K
Published by the College Fresh-ien Rhetoric Cl?ss
Editor - Jane Barbour
Assistant - Roger Mann
Business Manager - - Dunes n Rogers
table: of contents
How the Freshmen Came to Hear Gr,en
t or Dry"
My First Dance
The V/hole-boct Rao*
The Return of the " Pater"
Personality in Hsicrl Instruments
Bringing Up C ruro
Thrc t ins' Glen
On the Road T . -cd
What Rhetoric Alih.Jii Xr< Do ; ng
Clarice .'. Berry
Bob' rta Clov
Rather i e Brorm
POSV.'GII C. .
Jan. i r
Pc : nn
There are several types of bells in this college.
But that statement is unnecessary. Everybody knows whet
they are: rising bells (oa alar I clocks), clnss ; )ells,
bells for meals, en? pel bells, etc., etc. I wonder what
the effect would be if E. N. C. students answered all
these bells in the same manner} for instance, dinner
bells with the same alacrity as rising bells. It is odd
how very imperative is the brazen clang that issuer three
times a day from the direction of the girls' dorm — impera-
tive, that is, to the gre.^t majority of smr rareneus con-
And how about class bells? At the first sound
of the tinkle that announces the close of the c .ass h >ur
there is Lately ■ great bustle as the s eats fold
rSj pile books, and otherwise arrange themselves
preparatory to making ■ speedy departure. And. this joes
on while the professor vainly tries to Make plain t
closing sentences of his lecture, or jive o t the next
assignments. On the other hrnd, how • ay it ents o you
see in ti -ites before the spoointe
rj for classes to beginY if vou see anv you c(>n De
How the Freshmen Cane to freer Green.
Another day had dawned in the Devonian Age.
The Dinosaurs j which had been sletping in S fern-covered
swamp thro gho t the night, ceased their groanings s
began to lay low large areas of giantferrs with their
There were other stirri \;s, however, that
I the day as an unusual one. From the ^iOe of a
honeycombed bluff, there el u; I bedlam of noises.
It was registration ay in Cave College.
Professor Goozonki, the registi --r, it,' ■ swis'. of
his green fern apron ani a squinty look on his face,
wns dodging here and there among the newcomers. V'ith
great el'-'iciency, he v/as sing a f ormidable-lonking
club upo '•« those who objected too strenuously to their
classification, after much pinching, cr-ffing, rr.d
'.o get thei into their separate
classes. This lone, he t off to the College c y
store :'or his br st.
The classes having no - rosea]
or, their respective In - iri gr s .
either with a shake of t Doka or ri,
The fallowing morning* before breck of ay,
the Fr I i s stealthily .r^ae their way to a dine wno
ting o:' tne time -.vncn :.is kind rould beet
extinct. Cautiously, Kbits Phillucious, with his
stone nr tenet for guiding purposes , climbed on the
s lligpt cr-liice nee . Llowc
suit, until the dno was line-., fr: tai]
tip witl. a cargo of bright hopefuls* 3 sing t
leephere to be somewhst oppressive, be swung . is
tail three ti es, and with a leu grunt lu-ibere-.: to
this feet. n c felt a stinging blow be] in. t e r
ear. .ionster t e was, an ir.ter.st craving ;'or
ction took possession of him *n at to .^i
it with a quick forwr. h.
He was a terror for speed. One after
another the riders, _ -r to r.ang on, hi
let -o of ^hunks of Sr ov.r Tootl. Tig :nian
Crab, or bu r.-rns .
wen carried .nto new
c na strange country, t.ie ruf: of the wi reveni ♦
rem voici excia.^tions wl.ich t. I it.
Lbitc , - "n, with puc r :, was
thinking of the story his fathea related tc him,
oi' . ew "Old Ireland" ho a been celivered. fron a
plogue of green snakes , by the people farming into
ps« In a nation-wide rouna-up, tney nad ''riven
the snakes into s large pool where they peris i.e .
Their deconposea bodies had ayed the water a oril-
li"nt green. It was in this pool that the dinos
took tlieir annual bath.
These thoughts were still lingering in
his mind, when a lorgt, a uspicious -looking b rt:cn
spot appeared not far Rhea . Lbita gave s sharp
exclamation and turning his hea . sideways, yeliea, /
"..11 of yez hold on tight, for ye will soon be
saying, If only our ..iiti.ers could see us now.'"
Just then the ..ino brace, his feet an..
started slicing. It was « long slido, en i ig in
a huge splash. The but face of the pool
quieted saiiewhat, bubbler, j y red ... w
To this day no one nows \t ino
to oome up. So tir-t it . art
trouble, others the tit was the intellectual load.
However, legend tells us that five of the Free hies,
being able to swim, escaped frem the watery jove.
3ut the color 01 their sxin hv change. i to a cleshing
St' rtled at this discovery, they tried to re-
move the stain. In their esperatien they se water,
le-ves, bark, even sand, bxit to no avail. Huncclps
Foga jumps threw his handful of sen to the wines and
burst forti. in speech. "Fellov.-classnen, this is
.oient. e have been painted by the hand of fate* Thr t
we climbed on to a big problem it is self -evident, but
that problem is now dissolving. The beost of the ages
tried to destroy our kind, but when its tribe is ex-
tinct and its bones smouI eri gj through the rges
we shell, like the grpss and the iervis in springtime,
bring to the eel leges new, fresh life. r ■ we
, th< upper "Classmen will treaa upon us, but let r*
us like the tro' en grf'ss Prise to new life an rrow
to a wist , h our :>u.s of unuer ng I
be s Wllj bhej will, v.ith 01 P into
beautiful intellectual blossoms."
It has always been a policy of ;.iine to jet out of
wor k v/henever it is posrible. Therfore, one beautiful
spring day when v/ork of any type seemed to be Irudgcry,
I proposed to ay working ml te that we devise so;,;e scheme
for getting out of work 1 fternoon. '.Ve thought of
a number of plans, but none seemed workable. Finally
I hit upon an idea. I happened to be reading the By-
Laws of the Benefit Association of the Compcny an !
found this statement; "Employees, whenever they de-
sire, ve ft free eye examini tion without any lose
of time." Here was an Idea. The aere we thought of it
the ,.ore we favored it. My war king .ate was hawing
is trouble with his eyes; in fact e was cross-eyed.
Once when ashed about his cross -cyi.s e s'id, "Phillips,
re are two kinJ.s of cross-eyes. 0n< is an internal
light and the other is external. line is an cxt< rnal
sight. I can look north and south fit t o ti . e ."
And I really believe e could, for nothing ever es-
c pod his notice. With his eyes in that ran ition it
was not difficult to convince the "boss" the.t an examina-
tion was necesssry. And I? I had a "dro-" with the "boss"
and got away easily.
Laughingly we strolled over to the Doctor's office,
ti. inking that v/e had out one over on the "boss". T went
in first. His .uarse, a girl who know me an ; . «y tricks,
put a double portion of drepa into .-ny eyes. The doctor,
exaimi'ing ay eyes and finding I couldn't see at all, s i
I needed glasses. I went back to ork about ten ninutcs
before closing ti e, but I couldn't do any work* I
col dn't sleep all that night because my head, ached
so br-dly. I arose the next Jay with ay head still aching,
and it continued to ache for about a week.
So.Ae days later the doctor called ne end said
my glasses were ready. It cost ..-.e v couple of dr
pay to buy thea. I took then ho \e and put the- in my
bureau a rawer .
That was seven years I go. I haven't worn them
s ince .
"Wet Or Dry"
It was >ay first breakfast, in fact, ray first raeal
at E.'I.C I was only a freshvnan and as yet had not re
the acquaintance of any one. Ther'fore, I advanced very
shyly into the dining-room, and looked n round to see where
I should sit. At length seeing a place betvreen two other
girls, I walked along and claimed it.
Soon the students were all standing quietly with
bowed hea Is while the blessing was being asked. As I seated
myself I could not help wishing that I could feel as auch
at heme 3 the girl who sat in the hostess' place. She
seeraed to knew those who sat near her and to be relating
bit? of interesting news to them.
Suddenly my attention wag drawn to the girl
se-.ted on my ri ht. She had said "wet" in a • ible
voice, an seensd to be replying to seme est! on of the
server at the head of the table. I passed a Liah of
I ed cereal along to her but did not connect it with
the word I h^d hi r , . Then she • elbow
and nod* ed tov/ard the server. lei ing at ns with
questioning oyer., I ; hoi 1 -,h in one
: * n
hand and a large spoon in the other. My face reddened,
M I looked helplessly at the two dishes of cereal,
one on each side of him. I became conscious that
everyone ws looking at me. What was I expected to say?
At last I swallowed and then said faintly, " Oatmeal,
please." The server did not hear, so feint was my reply,
but with burning cheeks an 1 uder tone I repeated the
words . Immediately I became conscious agrin of the eyes
of my table-mc tes upon me. I would have been glad if
the floor had opened and swallowed me up. '.That had T
said that was wrong? Was not that oatneal? Of course
it was . Then why "id everyone look at :e in such a
however, the server so med to understand, for
which I was extremely grateful, although I contin-ed
to be miserable during the r< ..r inder of tho meal.
how gla- : I ., s that we were not expected to say any-
thing at dinner or supper, bit I looked for to the
noxt morning with incre: r :<i.
As I went down to r< b the recc g,
I felt my heart beating fflst, ana I woncercd how l could
go through another mortifying experience liks t 1 i t oi'
the corning bei'ore .
however, the seco/.d morning I was seated at a
table where the majority were in my ovm class. There-
l'ore 1 i'elt slightly mere at eose. But this time I aid
ot wait until the dread question was shot at me, but with
t.ie humility expected of freshmen, I questionec the
girl besiue me as to what she replied when the server
desired to know which icino of cereel she wanted. Quickly
she replied, "Why, I say whether I want wet or dry."
Then through the gr<-en haze which clouded ay fr< shman
brain, unaerstanaing ca:;e. Ana when the hoet "hot his
questioning glance at me I was read; with a reply of
" .et," upon which 1 exchanged a friendly smile with a
college senior who had laughed at bus the morning
C . . . • B .
There stands on a shelf in my room an ink bottle that
is now almost empty. Little did I realize when I bought it
at the corner drug store, on the opening day of school,
what a vital part in my life the ink in that bottle would
play. It was only recently, when I noticed that I should
have to buy a new bfcttle soon, that I thought of the import-
ance of this simple fluid in one's life. I realized that
the ink that I had used had entered in many ways into the
very warp and woof of my life, if I may be permitted to
speak thus of a liquid. Now it was gone; it was beyond re-
call; it had become a sort of incarnation of my thoughts,
an outward evidence of the inner workings of my mind. I
had translated an ounce or two of innocent fluid into miles
and miles of curiously shaped lines and curves, and thous-
ands of dots and other marks, all-hope fully-full of mean-
ing. It is no wonder that under the circumstances I became
Some of that ink had gone to plaoes near and far in the
form of letters to lovod onos. Some of it had boon put on
paper in the form of themes and exoroises.in vain attempts
to show to professors a mental progress that was entirely
too slow if not indeed, non- oxistent. Still more of it
had gor.e on examination papers, and hare, alas, it t~>ok the
form of unmistakable and irrevocable evidence of my gross
What a tremendous difference it makes in what for i
we snpad out the few drops of ink we use Luring an ex&xnim -
tioni For instance, if, in a certain history examination,
I h*d by s few altered strokes of the pen identified. Charle-
magne as an emperor, rather than as a town in Switzerland,
if I haa not called Richelieu a famous chemist of the eight-
eenth century, ana executed a few other such unfortunate
strokes of the pen, I ni^ht heve received a passing :rrrk.
If only I had used the infinitesimal i'raction of a crop
of ink required, to add a few commas, rpostroph.es, on quo-
tation marks to so :e of (j th* ies, or i .', by some miracle,
ilible :. . ced certrin "i's" and "e's" in their
proper oruer, or aoublea some consonants . er there
while it left otuers in their proper single blesac nest,
my professors woula not RUTS so prof us el] c corf tea
papers with pencil jtes in t rgin.
rhl I t i .ea on the o'its^oe woul I ■ ve been
a little higher Lical see: .
VeTilj ti - t:iO few ounces re-
in a yoar c sr Li of supr< c I i noe< Wi
accustomed to think of the beginning of a new year as a
period of solemnity and a fit time for resolutions to
worthier living, but is not the buying of a new bottle
of ink an event fully as solemn and fraught with equal-
ly tremendous possibilities for weal or woe?
For myaelf, I shall no longer presume even to fill
my fountain pen without preceding the operation by a
fervent prayer. Henceforth I think I must devote a
whole day to fasting before buying each new bottle of
My First Dance
An old country dance was scheduled at the vill
clubhouse. Julia and * were very anxious to ro as we had
never attended a dance before. However we did not heve
the temerity to as our parents' permission and tried to
concoct a way to go without their knowledge* ! .'. r e disc ssed
and abandoned many sch ues and had given up in despair ,
when our parents told s that they v.-v.re going on a trip
for a few days. Immediately hope flamed within us agr>in
a nd we w ent on wit h our pr epar at lone •
At last the evening oame. c "11 '.vent to b
and waited until grandpa was asleep, then stealthily
dressed and crept out of the house. The road to the
clubhouse was very dark and full of gruesome shade s
ire hastened along* R th, a fat Swedish girl, had on
tight shoes and co iplained all th feot.
1*0 encouraged .or to keep going as she wo Id find a
sent at the clubhouse.
reached our destlnati on we dived for
a window in order to watch the . th, howwi
hobbled to th* roll in] ■ , r-
self up to a seo.t. As the rail was narrow anu sh-
she srt balancing herself precariously over space*
Julia had immediately sec red a very fine
position in full vieyf of the dancers. She assumed
a graceful pose and started a mild flirtation with
one of the "out-of-town" boys that had condescended
to grace the occasion. I was vaguely impressed,
but as lady like ess vvasn't my forte I ran ani
jumped around, hoping thereby also to gain attention,
As my efforts -yore unsuccessful, I proceeded to
a iuse myself by shaking the rail an frightening
Ruth. She felt as o^ t of olace aa I did, her feet
still ached, and her vanity was injure .; conseq ent
every five minutes she chimed in with, "Y/ho's gcvic
to go ho^e?" She always went unanswered for Julia
a getting dee i the throws of flirtatJ ,
having acquired thrc-. icre ialeSj an u dis-
covereu a beautiful . I soon tired
of jumping el acers a> ■.:.: le
gracefully spiralled arouna ti.e floor. A tall
village ltd invited me to ..ence with him, t T looked
at my heavy rubber- soled shoes anu informed him
piously that my father didn't approve of dancing,. He
we Heed away anu again I was left to my own diversions.
I decided to go ho.^e, ana taking F.uth for moral support
went to tell Julia. Julia was reluctant to go until
Ruth piped up again, "Who's game to go home?" Then she
capitulated and we started.
Julia went ahead with oie of her swains,
leaving Ruth ana me in the rear. Ruth's shoes seemed
to be growing sailer every minute. Finally she
grew desperate, stopped in the middle of the roaa, m.
took them off. Tnen we followed in silence.
At the gate Julia ana the lad stopped to
say good -night. With no consideration 7, r ]-.atsocver
for their feelings, Rutn ana I lingered nenr. Ai'ti r
an interminable wait I ..nockeu the c.'.ap's not off, ^
noping lie would take it as a hint to c .o. . i id ^na
Julif lectured t e very SOT rs.
j one ever of our ntil
Julio in a s^ell of conscience confesses everything
to ay mother • I have never forgiven her as T wos pun-
ished, and she was lavishly praised for her honesty.
The Whaie-boat Race
Five sturdy whale-boats rode the choppy waves.
In each were three brown stalwart sailorr stirring the
foaming seu with their far-reaching oars. The goal
was in sight and each was bent on passing it first.
Each crew worked in perfect rhythm: their "team-
work" cov.ld not be excelled. As the oars were Irawn
back, forward went the muscle-tense bodies. Yachts
and bcby schooners, loaded with enthusiastic specta-
tors plied along by the side of the racers. The crowds
on the shore held their breath or went wild with delight
as first one boat dropped behind, or another with a a
den impulse darted ahead. It was not until the v/ inner
had passed the re.i buoy that the sailors relaxed; £>nd
then, as if all struc:. at the ia u tiie by so le unsoen
power, they ceased their ..lovoients, nnd appeared not at
all reluct.' nt to be towed to the ^laco /'icnce they had
The Return of the " Pater" .
" ill arrive in Boston ten o'clock Sunuay night"
--so reac. the telegraa fro i , thia waa Saturday
noon. <e rejoiced, we were gl» , yes — but then like the
foolish virgins, we sorrowed; procrastination had con-
quered the whole fanily ana we were not ready for the
return. For hi . we not tre< tea too lightly the hundred
ana one things which, seriously, we should ;iave done?
Immediately after dinner, therefore, "things
a to hum" in the Peavey ho.:ie. I r shed upstairs
an.i procured the dust-covered — ana that is no reflec-
tion on the housework, ^or .ay roo:n is under my care--
Lerandum that bad lain away for lo these ir-ny weeks*
The first itea prove i to be the task of
fixing the bearoo 1 doorknob. Two bra La and hammer
sufficoi to s lit it so ofi'ectually that any further
ir was hopeless, tmu T could cross that ite
Then, accor .e iy ie .o, the riv
But procrastin ti Hi 1. in
had it8 effect r\d it was now not a c ovelll
but of chipping ice whic form.ec beneath the snovf.
That job too.: te rlj .iree hours andl cm truthfully
soy t: - t .ever before had the end of the : rive seemed
By the ti.ne I had finis ice business,
fcged to lose ray list, incidentally ampging
also to forget inost of the remaining items* One
I ceuld still remember j hewever — I vms to re-cer.ent
tile which had ceme loose in the fireplcce. Ordinarily
this 5-o 1 have requirea the greater p; rt of rn hour,
but necessity ae.-.icnuc that it be r.ccorapiisheo. in
.ut fifteen .inutes . It wos, an it stayed until
While I vr-r, busying myself vdth my lrors,
list rs were by no means idle* .avion . :iec
herself fror.i the aany vree._s of j.aziness en. slothful-
ness which she ajoyeu, ana i ion
Len to urive /.er to tlic post sffios sr<
a lon£ ovoruuc pec . ot, naving been to
.» a c 11, a^a ael syed as 1
even no.v, in a coraance wi i • ,
the inevitable visit till lote in the aay, so that she
might be able to return home soon. Len made a telep.
call, new useless, but fulfilling a r quert ana satis-
fying 8 principle.
Thus was our afternoon spent, an when we
were sure everything was aone that was necessery, we
settleu ciow to await ciac. with light hearts end an
affirmative answer to all of his questions. And then,
when he aid coi.ie, after all our haste anc. worry, not
one question aia he as.:i
P. C. P.
Personality in Musica 1 T nstruments
So nohow ..hen I think of musical ins'.ruucntr ,
brass t rside, whi_e the at - : reeds
are first i • le gno.i s hcv« always been asso-
ciated wit] c±ari-ets. A certr ii , frolicking quality
seems • - belongs not to heaven car
eorth but to some grotesque though merry place beyond our
ken. Then, dancing, skipping, twirling come the g^y flutes
"nd piccolos lilting along like vee but very lively sprites
shrill and piping, now gentle as the wind in pines.
they interpret the martial fire of battle; then agr>i n
the; 01 >e nothing else but fairies flitting in I lit
Next the great bass viol. To me it is ■ person, I <
- person with a great soul, all -enfolding. Sc
times you hear only its heartbeats throbbing, throbbin .
Sometimes the melody flows out alone in all ts mellow,
rellin splendor* Then yo - c. r m hear the Lew thunder of
stormy oceans an', feel the sol ntains*
a iesser degree. It oecnot have the grand masculine
quality that the viol has but s mor< nn
Tht, 'cello h t ct, onl;- to
-.ctive con be applied to an instrument . The tone is
like a graceful wiilo.v or a stately river, bending, rising,
flowing, smooth _y with a certain sense of calm. At times
est flippant; at others it is sobbing; yet I gain
it is merely languid. Yes, that is a 'cello.
B .t the violin. There is versatility. Its
music en tri_ about like t tumn leaf in the sun-
shine. Frivolo s, coquettish as s b; Fren l
neath a flashing skirt. But it can also be p 1;
strong -:nd tender as a man's hand. It can interpret the
simplicity of a flo sr, the scent sf Spring, or even the
pas r ions of a human heart.
Every instrument is certainly individual.
Yet all are lifeless an mute till given breath b-" a
true . 's touch*
Exe leut h er os t omi s t i c '.
Editor's note: Mr Ifarren, upon running acres s this word
in i College Rhetoric assignment, sought its definition
in the dictionary* His serrch being fruitless, he was
inspired to write this theme.
Are big words any longer a necessity? If not,
why puzzle us poor college freshmen about them? is
admire a speaker or writer who uses t lain, simple, rmd
forceful language in orations and articles; but when a
puny freshman trying to do his duty by getting his
College Phetoric pssignment runs into a snag li^e
"exeleutherostomistic" , it is enough to convince hir.
that if by any chance lie coul taster such ■ word, he
should be granted his Litt. D« without que rt ion.
Concl'-. lng that the word is * oo huge for
immediate grammatical analysis, we will strnd at a
distance and speculate. It inay be technically
c- 1 ed a noun becai.se it is the only one of is
;:in(' , but it is not in circuit? tion enough to be a
noun as common. y called; it couldn't be I verb
because it is too : to s cm Pction;
count it an insult to the human rrce to cr 1
it a pronoun for its she ov woulu obscure tiny ...oicelg
of words like "he" or "it". To cell it rn cdjective
ht score so. .to points, but no one icno'..s hov. many.
One should extract the square root of it in orc.er to
get any sense from it. llr • Webster says, "A preposi-
tion is the oct of proposing or placing before." But
if such an enormous v/ord were placed before a word
or even a group °? words, it would put the entire neanj
in the dark. What c 3 n it be? Perhn pr» p conjunction,
"o, because conjunctions ere usually ono-or two-syl-
lable .oris; consequently it is not a conjunction.
While the mind is searching for another part
speech, I wonder if I weul I b< sd at if T celled
it an ••rticie. Ohi it is an int rjection. Wronj
a^nin, eca se it is too r to arouse any ex-
Breathes there a wan that knows tin
leaning of this • ord? Or has he ie>. ami left
his will, Lf this mount" inour his
.1, who has the code? To
it may be a con ^ok or an o "
It isn't poetry because poetry has rhytha. Let us
toke e. trip to Mr. Webster's dictionrry. Here v/e
search in voin for » aeaning; prob-bly he forgot
to put it in, but still I foil to see hovr he could
overlook such s big v/ord. I g ess I ca o fool to
worry and s?feat over what may be so-.ie one's second-
J. . .
Bringing Up Caruso
And we called bin Caruso. Tt was the only
name we could think of that would do him justice. The
ceremony was ■ hard one for him, but the result was
• orth the efJ'ort. My heart was sorry for Dr. Harry
Feever as he stood there beside the tub, waiting to
terse ay only Canary Bird. He could not perform
the ceremony until I chose a name; therefore when I
said "Caruso," — "Caruso," he said, "it is, rnd alwcys
Since the time I first adopted Caruso i
a member of my household I have considered him a
partner. Whenever I eat an ap_;le or peanuts, it is
only natural to shore with him*
One morning he was sick, nigh unto deoth.
I become alarmed and informed my roo. imnte of the serious
condition. Together we diagnosed the c r re and de-
cided upon the c re. I remembered that when I wai
boy, whenever * bee Lck, regardless of the n- ture
of the sickness, there as only n<- ci.re, • n ' that
w.-s a 'ose of castor oil; thus T decided thet Caruso
needed a do:e. Hank held the jaws apart ar T I
ministered the cure. Needless to say that he was
well the next morning.
One of my beliefs is that birds, like men,
ought to rve strong physique?;. It is herd to build
up 8 strong body without fresh air an exercise. I
told Oruso one day that he had to _et more fre^h eir
and exercise. Nov/ sometimes you must treat birds
like children ond rule over their "likes" and "dis-
likes," That's what I did with him. He didn't wont
fresh air, but some nights when the thermometer wis
down around zero, I put Caruso at the open window so
that he would get the full benefit of the night ''ir,
and he did.
He needed exercise as well as fresh rir.
At first T would liave to ^ull him out of his ca c; ,
but after I got hiai t he wouldn't fly. He would
land on the bed, an' say, "I'm tired." I was
easy with him at first, until I saw tl at he was pi-
lazy. I woul I try to catch him, but he woul d fly
onto the ooul : in u of th< r > ad there he v;o Id
sit Lng t oa. I would start for the
broomstick ^nd soon isloge him. After spa-king him
warmly I would put him bach into his cage. But now,
to show you the Vftlue of exercise, os soon as I go
near the cage, up he jumps and darts thro- gh the
opening os soon as it will permit. Trlk obout
sitting -round on I bed! Never I Ke flies and flies
ell around tl;e room; in fact, ten I have to use the
broom-stick, to chase him back to his cage.
Now my bird is the proud possessor of a
strong body; ev^ry morning when the musical note
is sounded on the r" io, after completing his
settino-u^ _;c~rcious, n« quickly plumer. himself ,
jumps to the ighest perch, looks at my roommate
and me, an^ sings softly, "Hail, Hail, the Gang's
Through Watkins 1 Glen
At ten o'clock one morning my friend and I
reached Watkins 1 Glen, and started on the trip up the
stream. Our first sight was a quiet pool of water
about which children were ploying and having a happy
tiie. We ascended a short flight of steps and viewed
the first falls. The size of the stream 'bove the
foils cause,! .s to wonder at the torrent of water that
flowed over the rocky ledge. The sound of the rushing
vroter and the sight of it Lashing on its journey, chained
us to the spot with i :ture of feelings which only
true lovers of Nature in all her moods can experience.
; lias endeavored to >*ke it easy to view
the Glen oing a cement walk the majority of the
distance up the strea.a. Iron railings ore there to ff
prevent accidents; for, should a person slir Pall ^
at some of these places j it would undoubtedly mean serious
The scenery utiful all the distance: at
so lixture of color, t ground, and
the sett; inderful tha; it
in silence, speechless at t lie magnificent vie. which is
before us. One spot, celled the Artist's Dream, is
truly all the na..ie implies. At our feet, the dashing
water in a mad frenzy to get away from the hare. rod.T
walls that hold it in; nearby, the sorry fron the snail
water fall; just below, a q iet backwater pool; be;ond,
the rocky clii'i'si'.e with a few shrubs brave-y hoi "' ing
to it; p.nd above all, as if waving hands of bler-ing
on the scene below, the green trees gently swaying to
• n f r o .
At another place the walk goes under, or rather
behin I a wall of water, dashing over the projecting
edge of the cliff. Sight-seers s tally run past this
spot to escape being wet, b t are well repaid if they
s o_ view the fails*
■,Ve finally arrive at the ha of the Glen,
in pTef< rence to riding bach down in ■ t r xi, take an
old Indian tr i ] s close along the top of
the cliff, back to the foot of the Glen.
It one point w brail an go
cautiously to the edge of the cliff and peer over.
The sight of the rushing water some distance below
makes us instinctively tighten our hold on e BOB. 11 tree
Up here, the sound of the rushing water cor.ies to us
blended into a s ofter tone, not so boisterous now,
but still pro cla iming its power.
V:e proceed on darn the trail and finally
coiie to the foot of the Glen, at the end of a wender-
ful two -hour wal .
Wanted: a Few Name.
It see..iS to t one of the pressing
needs at E. .C. is a new na,.ie for the "hens ion" .
Not that the present name is not good enough. That
is just the trouble: it is too goad. If yo . disagree,
it .aust be because you don't live in the alleged
' is ion" . Anu since you are wondering why it is
undesirrbie for this building to be thus named, I
will tell you at once tliat the reason is the four-
teenth chapter of John.
You know thrt is the chapter that tells
about the o&ny ■ftnsions in heaven; ?n since it is
an unusually beautiful portion of Script re, it is
often read in our bearing* But what is the nentr'l
i. ■ at coaes before the average E.N.C. student
wnen he ne?rs the word "mansion"? Involuntarily
he calls to til Linf i, while it .aay
e been cjnsi ere st- _>r eve
in years prst, is now shabby, - me , unfit-
But this is not all, for ' .ental r
. . | .' . s of '
oi' stuuents who actually live in t s ion i
more pathetic and deplorable. They think oi' leeks
in the roof, oi" freezin^-coi rooms, and ..orst of all,
of no hot water in the morning'. Are they eager to
dwell for all eternity in a Mansion in the skiesafter
a short sojour ■. in this one here below? A seless
question, of coursel Rpther they will recklessly
resolve tlut, re^arcless of all other considerations,
they will nave as their eternal abode a place where
there is i cnty of heat!
As anyone crn readily see, the situation
is really serious. Since the connotation of e v:orc
plays such a lar c part in creatin pr per .en-
tal iia e, the force 1 .1' t. e entire
pter is lo t for all j ; r students; while for
1 definitely .anurous i .press io.. is ma e.
Therefore, since it isnot feaeibli to
wording of Scripture, let us cir n^e
the ' . Ion" .
On the Pond Two lien Delay-od
One spring morning :ay chum and I were seated
on the steps of our porch, trying our best to think of
o.ne adventure in which we could find a little excit-
:aent for the day. Should we go over to .loose Pond
bo ting, or i.-'red we go swi.rvaing in the snow-fed river
that ran back of our house? A final decision seemed
to reach. It was at this time that I noticed a stranger
coding across the road toward us, carrying in his armi
a lon^ package. He ca,ae directly up to us an: 1 . af\,er
clearing his throat, said, "I'll give you boys five
dollars if you will deliver this package for ;ne by
four o cloo: .
This was just the cliance we had been leoking
for, and five dollars sounded even beyond our imagina-
tion. We at once tol that we would. Reaching
into hi« pocket, he pulled out a five dollar bill,
saying that he knew he could trust us.
We vter-i eager to be off at once. We
jumped on to our bioj . nco at t
address on the package, start* ! for I town
■it. T'. iraa rouj h an ru
and almost all the .'y it led t. .rough woods* Everything
went well until wo had reached the tenth mile of
trip. As ire were riding along the side of tho road to
avoid the ruts, a loud "pop" broke the silence and one
of ..iy chum's tires went flat* ".'e stopped immediate]
an:, patched it, but in our hurry to get st rted .ve hfd
forgotten to cia:ap on a pump. Why had we forgotten it?
If we on:y had a pump we could start agnin on our
journey and ma^e it by four o'clock. Finally we decided
to hitch the .ront end of ay chum' - bicycle to the bac :
hub of .mine, using my back tire for 1 is front one. This
seeped to O o all right. We started on again in high
spirits, thinking of the five dollars that we wer<
going to hove for our own.
Everything went well for tin- next five
miles, but i a e were going iown a steep hill the
bicycles str-i.-- eep rut, and witii terrific s jeod
headed for a berbed-wire fence. With a sh?rp cro
we struck the fence. Another tire punched!
we do without • 'aotj wo wore
still five dl s from our destination. Without a
pump, there w^s only jne thirty we could do; that was to to. e
the remaining two tir^s and put the a on one bicycle. Then
one of us wouli ^o on alone. As quickly as ve decided, we
were at work, and soon had the tires on one bicycle.
chum said that I had better go, because I was stronger
and could make farter tine.. So quiokly I jumped on and
started off, leaving him until T should return.
I pedaled swiftly for an hour and soon the
city ca.ne into sight, rbout one and one half miles dis-
tant. I looked at my watch. I had just fifteen minutes
more, but I was s'rc I could ;nake it, if I id not have
to look leng for twenty-eight Medal Street, which wos ry
destination. I begnn to pedal harder and with renew
■pirits. Suddenly the front wheel begon to wobb-e, T
looked quickly to see the tro ble — a flat tire! Oh, for
a pump! Never a ^ain would I leave ho.ie ithout o» .
But, I was deter. .lined to deliver that package. T jumped
from t ■ bicycle, took the package under my or .is, and
after climbing over the fence, started crosslots to-
ward the city. I ran as fost as possible, through
blnclz-berry briars, swamps, and s;.wll bushes. After
tearing my clothing, scratching my arms and face, and bumping
my head, I jumped over the last fence -and into the street
again. I looked at my watch. I hrd just three quarters
of a minute left. Panting, with my tongue hanging out
and .ay clothes torn full of holes, I ran down the street.
If I could but find a police. .ian and get my directions I
might .:<ake it ;et. There was not a police<ian in right, but
up at t:.e em of one of the sice streets, I sa.7f a group of
men standing about a large automobile. I lowered my head
and started for them as fast as I could run. The city
clock struck once. I redoubled .r^r efforts an. . ept on
running. The cloc: ■'truck two. It seemed to echo and
re-echo in my ears, ~nd give me superhuman strength. I
c ne to the street corner just a- the third stroke of
the clock rang o t« The street was itedal Street.
I hurried toward the group of men, tnd as T
glanced up at the house, the fourth stro Look
sounded. The number of 1 se was 23. One of the
i out in front said, "Here he is." I handed him the
package a inst a tree for support. ?uir
he tore open the pac , ulled
bile pu p, and thrust it in under the servt of the /r-iting
cr. I sank to the ground, unconscious.
What Rhetoric Alumni Are Doing
H. Elizabeth Brovm
Chcsing Nrutilus bills
Training future college
. jtoric student!
Bringing up Wilson
Subduing Academy spirits
in the Study Hall
Disturbing Card Bo-
PPlace with his "Srx"
Pulling A in history
Still or « eking je]
Spending Sun ay Denni-
HEY ILL I
First Englishnan: "Did you hear that jo'.;e about the
Egyptian guide who showed some tourists tvo skulls of
Cleopatra — o^e as a girl n - one I s I wo ian? a
Second Englishman: "No, l t's hear it."
Fatulr : "Did you ever lake chlorof or..V?"
Olive: "!!o, who teaches it?"
Prior: I her that the United States is L'°i- n £ to "nnex
E. Durkee: " ,'z tlie b
Prior: "So we o*XI raise our ovm police ten."
Officer: Your honor, I found this :mn striping a
bmana from a fruit stand.
Judge: Impersonating an officer, two years.
St. Peter (at the pearly gate): Where do you come fro.
St. Peter: Coae in, but I don't think you'll like it.
Pictures no artist could paint. —
Dev/are attending two consecutive classes.
",lr» Reeves in a nilent mood.
A dumb freshman.
John Warren not laughing at his own jo::e.
I- us so 11 Prior studying.
Burnham as a "Shie ' .
Pay Berely missing a meal.
Memory Gems . —
The best joke I eyer 3 on t.vo legs.
/ for cryiig. You WOi too if you
t'. ought you might be a college freshman in 17 or 18 ye ■
A hint to rs: A _;ots hi 1 nd
automobile t -- littL onth.
Cheor upl All Ilea told about yo
ny who or a daughter' r v.
Caller: Doctor, can you do anything r or ; ie ? ;<y none is
pappa cons ta nt inou.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but I toven't any rcnecy Tor that.
Peeves: How long coul.. anyone live without brains?
Fo animate: That reiaains to be seen.
Deware: C^rt a man be r.rrestea for stealing snui
3ob Durkec: No, snuff was made to be pinched.
Er.rl Durkei : rat is nothing': 1
PoQ.unpte: A blaueless knife without a hrnale.
Phillips: Where aid you get your hair cut?
. Bt ebb ins: Aroun . the euges.
Jack Moore: Oh, I wis! I v/ore a river.
Jack i'.oore: I co 1 "olio.. ..v coi r.-e but still lie
in bo .
Bur . • ' s bee
Contractor: "Do you think you are fit Tor really hard labor?"
Casey: "V/ell, sor, sane of the best judges have though -1 so."
The reporter ca,ie to interview the victia of the y ex-
plosion. "P"t", he began, "they tell .ne you were ealn
"i was cal i," answered Pat, "but poor oil Dinni:- was col-
"'ow ii i you get that blao
"Oi 811 p fell on ,t> '
"But yo r i Ln't o
--naythur I i."
T he Beasts of £ur<?
W/;?, e 777iKe It
Getting baby to sleep is hardest when she reaches her
t cused the Grand Cnnyon?"
"A Scotch. inn dropped • in a . r ojc."
Captains "In bvttle a real soldier is '3re
the billets fcre thickest. Priwte Plynnj v.'here would
you be foi-nd?"
Flynn: "in the a.^iuni' agon, 3 or."
K. Brown: "..'ho : nvorite author?"
Fobin: " ."
. Brown: "Wfcat does he ■?"
Solid (ieon>e^tj-or Ju si Tla k \n' ?
\ Ke-OXttTV I
— — — - — — — — — — -
Prof. (Botany class): 'iThere are ..lost of the cells
John Clark: In the city prison.
Lock.vood: But your honor, I'm a college student.
Judge: Ignorance doesn't excise anyone.
Diamond: What month has 28 days?
Bob Durkee: They all have.
Prof. Garrison: '.There do potatoes grow best?
Bright St dent: In the gro :nd.
.: Do you Icnov: trt little J.og I had? Well, he com-
mitted suici e.
Bill: Gee, that's too bad.
: Yeah, he put his tail in his mo th a- aid, "
ic the end •"
:e to see ood socor. - "
Sal "So rould I."
Sloan: Havo you a n oponir. on ti
•n: Y< , i don't
Q e. rl r u ie.
Mrs* Snii'i'le: "Why, Bridget, you have been anting onions?"
Bridget: "Shure :nu.ii, you're a noind r-ader."
Pat: "Begorr>, and did ye rade this, Mike? It s'->ys,
'Buy one of our stoves and save half your fuel 1 ".
Ike: "Shure, why not buy two of t: ve all?"
O'Brien: "Say, Finnegan, did I ever tell you about the
fright I got on .<ay wedding day?"
Finnegan: "Shi no iian should speak like that about
R. Mann: What is the richest country in the world?"
J. V/arren: "l don't know, what?"
R. Maim: ■Ireland, bees so the capital La n ublin."
A Fadio Recipe
A June bride aske her io
recipe one corning; he got two stations at once. One
br xercises o otlier iu for r.
This is .. copie i
i s on Lpa, plaoa one c.o of flour on shoulder a,
cup of .lilk.
In four counts raise the lower legs and mash two
hord boiled eggs in a rieve. Repeat 6 times, inhale
| teaspoon baking powder and -^ c p flour, breathe natu-
rally, exhale and sift. Attention I jump to c r ■ t-
ting position. Stretch almond extracts for. or ott-
head , and in four counts, make 6 stiff lo gh that
II bend at the waist.
Lie feet on the flour and roll into a marble the
size of a walnut* Keep to a boiling, stand in boiling
vrter, but do not boil into a ^ollip afterwi rd.
In ten minutes move, and dry with a dry towel.
Breathe naturally nn dress in warm flannels and
serve with fish